Your ultimate job in this world is to learn to be who you are without causing grievance to other people. In that pursuit, a person must first define and find themselves, who they are naturally and authentically, and then make space for that person, without oppressing others. Many people, both men and women, violently change themselves to please the opposite gender or their preferred gender, and men do this more than women do in our current time. Instead, we should focus a little more on what we want, and risk rejection as a result.
The fear is, that by staying true to who you are, you wind up alone, being a man and all. The false belief is that all women want more or less the same and that being a natural male is inherently off-putting to a female. If you think about it, that has GOT TO BE false. In fact, I believe that the stereotypical loud female who dictates what women want and particularly don’t want is based on the mindset of a closet lesbian who is inherently dissatisfied with men. The heterosexual female starts to complain when the lesbian female has created too much damage.
I want to stress that I have nothing against the LGBTQ+ community, particularly ones out of the closet. It’s the closeted folk that creates drama for us heterosexuals, but their being in the closet is hardly their own fault.
Whatever you are, you’ll find your perfect match.
Therefore, I suggest all women start speaking their own minds – it’s not like they find it a challenge – and men start listening to individual women rather than the collective. Then, pick your poison. I promise, that whatever you wish to be and do naturally, there are enough women who feel your way is the exact right way. After pushing every other animal species’ right to species’ typical behavior, it’s time we grant ourselves that right, too. We are not evil; we are sexually frustrated and confused.
Did you know that many heterosexual women find submissive and “simping” men very off putting? It makes sense that a lesbian woman would feel more comfortable with a man she can control, but a heterosexual and bisexual woman is not afraid of men’s natural way of being. This is to say that your sexuality is right. The society controlling it is wrong. The people you’re currently involved with may be wrong for you, and you have to find yourself first and then the men and women who match that.
Protect your own authentic self, and reject women who don’t match.
You have to develop a sense of self-preservation. Today’s women don’t seem to care much what you want as a man, so you have to. It’s time to put you on the list of priorities, too. (I sound like a feminist, don’t I?) I want you to start reversing the gender roles in everything that you think women have the right to and realize that in a gender-equal society, so do you. What you have the responsibility of doing in a gender-equal society, women should, too, but very rarely do they feel that way.
For instance, when you find a Facebook meme that is supposed to empower women, gender role reverse it. Does it still sound true? If not, it’s probably not a valid piece of philosophy. “Every woman deserve a man willing to shout from the rooftop that she’s his angel and one true love.” I read once. Let’s gender reverse it: “Every man deserve a woman willing to shout from the rooftop that he’s her angel and one true love.”
Your authentic self is valuable, it is who you are, and it deserves to be loved for itself.
What is your authentic self?
What you are is a collection of things that you enjoy without trying. Thoughts, ideas, hobbies, tasks, jobs… Whatever you’re into and curious about, what drives you, motivates you, and makes you smile. Those things summed up is who you are. The sex you fantasise about when you don’t need to please anyone in particular, the category of porn you browse into when nobody is looking. THAT is your true self. (Mine is the gang bang section. ;p I’m just saying, because I think men would find that surprising. 😉 )
Whatever you’re into, there’s a girl who’s into it, too. And/or guy if you’re that way inclined.
Work on the shame, guilt, and fear of both.
We all feel guilty for who we are. Lifetimes worth of brainwashing and conditioning will do that to you.
For me, the guilt was always how much I wanted sex and with how many men – the slut thing. “Men don’t like sluts” is, apparently, false. It may be that men like sluts entirely too much and fear they’ll be tempted… A closet lesbian will tell you NOT TO DO IT, assuming that you don’t want it any more than they do. We get angry at people for violating themselves, and if we project our own feelings on them, we’ll think they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing. If they understood how you feel, if we understood how they feel, we’re fine with it… As long as you enjoy it, and your partners enjoy it, go for it, right?
Always realize that when people criticize your sexuality and personal dreams of all kinds, they are most likely also uncomfortable with that of their own. Help them figure that out or use their comments to figure yourself out.
Become better at
- Rejection
- Saying no
- Suavely avoiding situations that you know will turn unpleasant for everyone.
- Having courage to deal with unpleasant situations.
- Knowing when to stand your ground and when to let people be.
- Telling the truth politely.
- Not helping women create false egos. (That’s for both of your benefit.) (White lies do that effectively.)
- Trusting that people tend to prefer the truth even when it’s “I dislike you for an unfair reason or a reason you cannot control.”
- Reading my “tarot” cards. (Instructions included; you’ll learn to do it in 5 minutes, you’ll become better at it fast.)
Stick around for a lot more. I’m brimming.
