In my previous post I explained how manosphere dating tips are designed to lure in a narcissistic woman. That is not at all to say that healthy women are not influenced and traumatized by narcissistic thinking, too. As I said, in the previous post, we are all victims of narcissistic abuse in one way or another. Healthy women are not an exception.
Men do not love/respect/marry slutty women.
First and most importantly, we are made to believe men don’t love, respect, nor marry sluts.
This is imprinted with scarlet letters into every woman’s brain. There is not a woman in this world who wasn’t aware that if she wants respect, she cannot act like a slut. She cannot let a man treat her like a slut, either.
That said, a friend of mine wrote in his blog: “I’m not saying women are sluts. I’m saying there is a slut in every woman.” And he’s right. The problem is, that men tend to keep their wives and whores separate, and there’s a point where we realize it, even those of us who believe that true love comes through real sex.
It takes courage of a person to be openly both romantic and sexual, especially with the same person. And why? Because narcissists don’t like complexities in relationships. They want to box people tight and stick a label on the top and they’ve taught the rest of us to conform to that idea to whatever extent they’ve been able to.
Good girls are good with their families.
There is not one time in history when heterosexuality in women would have been accepted. Women exist only to give birth to babies, and that role is not directly enforced upon them by men, either. It is reinforced in them MOSTLY and MAINLY by their narcissistic mothers.
A good woman’s role is to serve their birth family, isn’t it?
Therefore, all women try, but only narcissistic women will be able to handle the sacrifice of sex and romance that comes with that expectation. The most likely reason why a woman cannot get along with her family is that she is openly sexual and refuses to become a part of the narcissistic family narrative. An openly sexual woman may have decided lifetimes ago to keep their connection to their family loose and weak and prioritize romantic and sexual connections above all else… It’s just that it takes courage for a man to disappoint his family and choose a sexual woman over an appropriate (narcissistic) one.
Don’t push him. Don’t chase him.
Narcissistic women are not shy to chase and push a man for a relationship and commitment. Normal women fear losing him if they push too hard and or ask too much. If they demand to know where you’ve been and so forth.
Normal women are quite aware of the ways other women abuse men and try hard not to do those things themselves.
Don’t ever ask him for money for anything.
We are all aware of gold diggers. Those of us who are not, are always suspected of it – especially beautiful women. We also know that a good gold digger DOES NOT ASK FOR MONEY; they tell you they’re in trouble and ask you to offer money. When it comes to money, normal women are bending backwards trying to prove to you they are not after your money.
That, to some men, may come off as a dismissal of their financial status. An ex told me: “It’s like there’s not a man rich enough for you in this world.” I was gobsmacked. I would literally date a homeless man if I loved his character – and had a home to invite him into. (With careful consideration, might be a bit of a problem to get him to move out if things go sour.)
Still… It is normal for a couple to share finances. When you’re together, you don’t have separate problems, all of your problems are mutual… That includes expenses. (If you feel otherwise, keep looking for a better relationship.)
Good on paper / you’re too picky
Now, narcissists do not believe in true love. They don’t believe in character or personality. They don’t understand the concept of “compatibility” in any other way except financially or status-wise. Therefore, if you’re looking for a man based on whether you’re sexually attracted to him or not, which is what normal women would be doing, there will be a choir of narcissistic female singing the tune “you’re too picky you’ll wind up with a bone in your hand…” aaand a few guys they’ve rejected along the way saying the same thing.
So, most women, if not all, try to lower their bar for their partners, and go out with sexually unattractive men who tick every logical box there is. “Nothing wrong with him…” “Good guy” “I like him but…” All of this is a reaction to TRYING to settle for a false relationship when a narcissist tries to convince you that such thing as true love or connection is just childish foolishness to believe in.
Feminism or narcissism?
Now. Feminism is one of those places where narcissism breeds. And also, there’s narcissism in the opposite team, don’t get me wrong:
Narcissistic feminists: You cannot give men what they want, you have to make them give you what YOU want and need.
Narcissistic conservatism: You have to give up on individual goals and fulfill your biological duty as a woman.
A normal woman wants to fulfill her own intellectual and professional drive (whatever that may be, homemaking being a valid option), fall in love with a man and make him happy, have happy children, and have a husband whom she cannot get tired of sexually. OR, a healthy woman may have taken this a step further and pursue whatever form of a sexual/romantic relationship she feels is authentic to her (I write about alternative sexual lifestyles all the time, so stick around for that.)
That said, every woman is aware of the feminist front and what we are expected to do for the feministic movement, ignoring male needs and wants at the expense of our own happiness, too. Not every woman holds up her end of the deal but every woman is aware of the expectation to.
To use sexuality to make money or not to use sexuality to make money?
There are women who love sex so much they’d love to have it as their career. However, there’s a bit of a conflict in the mind of a healthy woman: How can I ask a man to pay for something I want just as much? (The answer: You don’t ask for payment for sex but for the loss of reputation. If you’re not ready to lose your reputation for sex work, you want to steer clear of it anyway.)
A narcissistic woman will open an Only Fans if she believes it to be admirable or an expectation for a hot/savy woman of the Internet to do.
Believing in true love is childish.
Now… If the “men don’t love sluts” is the number 1 belief brewed by a narcissist, then believing in true love is number 2 or vice versa. The truth is, NOT believing in true love is TRULY childish. It is the expression of being so emotionally immature, that you don’t see differences between people, you’re barely evolved enough to see a difference between men and women.
Narcissism is emotional immaturity, and you can pretty much assess the severity of the condition by comparing the emotional awareness of a child to that of a narcissist. Their “age” ranges from 3-year-olds to 16-year-olds. I am bold enough to say this, too: Narcissistic people don’t have an in-built sexual drive or sexual orientation at all, especially in the “younger” categories. They go through the motions of sexual behavior, like a child mimicking the behavior of adults.
That doesn’t stop the children in adult bodies from convincing the real adults that believing in something as elusive as true love is childish, even if we truly do believe in it and hope for it to be real. So we all, men and women alike, tend to play down and hide our true feelings (and hide behind sexuality a lot), whereas the narcissist exaggerates their loved-up feelings without any shame whatsoever… Because they don’t TRULY love you, but rather how good you’d be for the role I have in my play of life.
How you could turn this in your favor?
Write out your fetish as a dating profile advertisement making it sound humorously formatted job advert. The narcissists will understand instantly that “OK, that’s the game he wants to play, I don’t want that at all – steer clear.” The ones who see through it notice the humorous tone and read it automatically the way you intend it: “I’m looking for someone who is into this and turned on by this.”
Only date at sites/venues that are adult-oriented/adult-theme friendly. NEVER AGAIN date on a ‘reputable’ dating site let alone the church if you want a REAL relationship rather than one that ticks all the boxes of societal approval.
Narcissistic men need to date narcissistic women.
Now… If you find it disappointing I’d do this, you have to understand this: Narcissistic people cannot fulfill the needs of normal people, and normal people cannot satisfy narcissistic people. The trouble with normal/narcissistic dating is that narcissists tend to misinterpret rejection as an opportunity to elevate their own status. It isn’t really, as normal people will not really help you to lie to anybody and can, at worst, completely ruin your reputation because they don’t give a shit about the house of cards you’ve worked so hard to build.
So… If you are narcissistic reading this, just find another narcissist to build the life you want with. You’ll recognize them by being forthright about what your relationship expectations are, much like a job advert I described above minus the humor, and be bold in letting the ones who don’t get it go home. They’ll never understand your needs, and life is too short to teach them. Find the ones who do.
