It’s not insecurity, per se. It’s just an acknowledgment that I’m not everybody’s cup of tea, nor do I need to be. I know I’ve made some life choices that are not admired nor understood by all people, and some wonder why anyone would have an issue with any of it.
The thing is, I’m not a perfect person, but I know I am perfect for somebody. A lot of men, in fact. So I’m not insecure, I just respect the fact that even if a person is a Full 10, it doesn’t mean they are a perfect match to another Full 10. We still have to navigate interpersonal issues. Your wishes on a partner are equally important than mine, right? I don’t assume that as a woman, I can just dictate new rules for you, even though I know some of you expect me to.
My two biggest issues: I’m unemployed and a polyandrist.
“And a non-wine-drinker,” says my lover in spirit in a loving jesty tone. Also, I realize I do have a possible insanity in the form of acute psychosis or schizophrenia. I am definitely a megalomaniac, perhaps an erotomaniac. (No, that is not like nymphomania, sorry.) So there are those things.
But most acutely, I don’t like that I seem completely resistant to money. Money and I are like brand-new Teflon pans and veggies. No stick. Absolutely no stick. It’s like I have something against money.
Not only that, I don’t want a man to take care of me. 
I have an obstinate need for independence and no ability to take care of myself financially – or so it seems at least.
I have my reasons that sound VERY MUCH like excuses. That leads me to my next flaw:
Oh yeah, and I believe in divine guidance, ghosts, soulmates, and shit like true love and…
What is also not everyone’s cup of tea is my New Agey belief system. I believe a lot of stuff a self-respecting man has trouble respecting. Always have done, but about 15 years ago… Let me see… 13 years ago, I became psychic on top of believing in it.
So, my theoretical new partner will be dealing with me talking to people who are not in the room, often mindlessly giggling at a joke he can’t hear.
The most relatable TV show I know is Ghosts. Namely, the American version because in it, Samantha (the teenage witch? Why did they change her name from Alison?) isn’t so embarrassed about her ability that she can’t tell her husband. In both, they’re too embarrassed about it, which means that where Allison tries to act normally, I don’t. Well, not with friends, anyway. I try not to freak people out by talking to invisible people at supermarkets, but my friends will know I “hear voices.”
I have opinions, feelings, memories, experiences, intellectual interests, and sexual curiosity, and I want to talk about that.
Yeah. And I want you to talk about your stuff.
I’m fucking done with people who can’t form an intelligent sentence and blame me for “being shy.” I will not waste my brain energy on talking about household chores or work schedules. Send me a fucking text, and the required exchange is completed. Then, sit down and have a conversation with me.
I’m not available for a relationship with brain-dead people. No matter how much energy you put into admiring me.
And I cannot stand women. That may be my biggest issue.
I also get fucking hives when I think about having to deal with another woman ever again. Like… I will contradict myself right now: I don’t hate women, I just can’t tolerate them near me.
EVERY FUCKING TIME that I’ve gotten excited about another woman, she turns out to be a fucking narcissist. ONE exception. One single exception. (And excited, mind you; I like some women and have zero issues with them, but to feel actually excited about a new person… apart from ONE individual, is all narcissistic.) I don’t even want to try anymore. I don’t want to meet your mother, sisters, or daughters. I don’t want to risk to be in the position of having to inform you that they’re cunts, too.
I have one woman left that I still respect… Almost without hesitation. She is delightfully narcissistic, not in a toxic way; she’s delightfully self-satisfied. As close to a narcissist as you can be without being one. As in the Goldilocks zone of a person. She’s delightful. And a straight polyandrist. (oops, did I oust her? I’ll have to ask her for permission to publish.)
And as much as I don’t like women, I like men.
Yeah, so I mentioned polyandry but dropped the topic. That’s obviously not going to be every guy’s idea of good fun, and as I implied earlier, it doesn’t have to be. It just has to be My Perfect Guys’ idea of fun and games. My perfect guy will be a little turned on by another guy… No, not a little turned on, a LOT turned on by another man in the picture.
Non-negotiable. Not even if I’ll never find men like that. I know they’re out there, so if you’re waiting around, I hope I’ll realize you’re there and ready to make a commitment to me. Don’t waste your time. I’ll never commit to a man who wouldn’t share me with another man.
Other men. Like a thousand of them. (I really, really, really want to do that thousand men in a day thing that this one chick on YouTube is getting all the shit about because she wound up regretting it.)
I don’t know… I may be happy with, like… A modest 500. XD
(Join and log in.)So there are reasons why not every guy would want to be with me.
And there are certainly reasons why I wouldn’t want to be with every Full 10 guy, either.
I’m not going to be your prim and proper trophy wife. (Fuck toy -kinda trophy, for sure.) I won’t be your staff wife. Cook nor cleaner. I’m not going to birth your babies or raise your existing ones. (I’ll advise, yes, but they’re yours.)
You cannot respect me by making an average woman’s dreams come true. You cannot love me that way, either. I am not like most women, and you cannot love nor respect me like most women want to be loved and respected.
You cannot make me happy by “treating me right” by another woman’s standards. There is no way you’ll be my hero and “make an honest woman” out of me. Don’t imagine there aren’t men who haven’t offered, wanted, or assumed they could.
You can be a perfectly awesome guy, and you think that your lack of sexual kinks should be a relief for any woman, but no… I love men FOR their sexuality, not despite it… In addition to other reasons, if there’s one requirement for a sexual partner, it is matching sexual kinks.
You can respect me by fucking me.
So I know you understand me.
