I have one principle regarding my relationships: I will initiate a connection three times without your reciprocation—three invites, three chat messages (bouts), three “I love yous,” whatever. If you don’t respond, I will not pick it up again until you do.
Why?
Like would you chase a friend who never answers your calls? Would you feel comfortable being chased by some psychopath who wants to be friends with you? There should be NO DIFFERENCE in how we handle romantic relationships in this regard. Chasing is pathological, not romantic.
Because if you make me chase you down the aisle, you will always have an excuse in a relationship: “What are you complaining about? You wanted me (this job) SOOOO BAAADLY, didn’t you?! You practically forced my hand, so this is what you get!”
I am also not going to play hard to get, because if I trigger your ego by rejecting you as a play-move, I will have to continue playing hard to get for the rest of our relationship to keep your interest in me triggered. It’ll be the usual story: You want me for as long as you can’t have me, but once you do, you won’t be interested.
This is why I will reply to your every message. I won’t make a big deal about sex with me. I will be easy peasy. But I won’t chase.
The other reason why I won’t make you chase me is respect. I hate chasing people, so why would I force you to chase me (unless I was genuinely not that interested in you)?
I wish men were easier, and I hate feeling on edge, wondering whether it’s OK to talk to you today or not, am I disturbing you? Are you with someone else? Crowding you? Therefore I will not make you guess if I’m available for a chat, a date, or a fuck, or pretend that I’m busier than I am just to appear “interesting”. I may not be available, who knows, but I won’t pretend to be busier or more popular than what I am. If you need me to be super popular to keep interest in me… Well. I’ve spent over a decade with basically no human contact. I’m not miss popular by any means. In spirit I am, yes. People are basically falling over each other to get to be my new bestie, but… There’s no proof of that in real life. (I sound dismissive of them, and I am a bit. I think you have to be a little mentally ill to take that much rejection from a person and still think you’re in the running for the main prize…)
