Over a decade ago, I was pondering why I felt I’d lost my will to live. I literally couldn’t think of anything interesting happening in my life except for my own funeral. Who would attend? What would they say, and then… Realizing it didn’t matter what they’d say. I was 35, and looking at the endless row of days before I’d mercifully die of old age – I wasn’t suicidal, just… I was bored to death. I just couldn’t think of anything worth living for. And I realized I’d lost sex. I’d lost hope of ever having GREAT sex again…
I realized that the only thing that keeps me going in life and happy in it is the pursuit of great sex. Having it is great; the moment is wild, fulfilling, happy, and joyous, but short. What keeps life interesting is the next time. It isn’t easy to find, it’s rare, but at least if you’re single, you are free to fucking hope for it. Free to pursue it and search for it.
Whatever else you take away from me, only an enemy will get in the way of my sex. I’m not a nymph or anything; I’m perfectly capable of being in male company and without ripping his clothes off just for being a man, nor do I have to masturbate all the time – and I find sex satisfying, not a constant physical need; I’m just saying. If you were wondering, this is not a medical condition. This is me—a non-possessed and non-oppressed straight woman.
My greatest fear in life is the loss of sex appeal; for men to start seeing me as something other than a potential fuck toy. I hate it when they realize I’m nice and respectable and whatnot and then start treating me with “respect,” which means no more sex… Or just less… Sexy sex. Sex swapped for romance, which is nice for about two days. Then, when I start feeling the distance grow, they start doubling down on proving to me how much they “respect me” and don’t see me as just a fuck toy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it.
One of the reasons I don’t want children is that it’ll make men see me as “a mother,” and it’s twice as bad if they see me as the mother of their own child(ren). Again, sex goes out the window or at least turns into something limited; “lovemaking.” Poke stick cuddles.
I don’t want a respectable job partly because having one forces you to fuck less and do it less publically. Less openly. Suddenly, your OnlyFans becomes someone else’s… Some stranger’s fucking problem. (I don’t have active OnlyFans, long story, but you know, I like the freedom of having one if I want to and sharing nudes with whomever I fucking like.)
The only job I can think of to make me happy is that of a sex worker. Thusly, what I want to protect is what I do – and my boyfriends and husbands will have to take their jealousy out on me periodically so they don’t get fucking blinded by their love and respect for me. ;p Why I haven’t gone that way is another long story.
I prefer you never to meet my family so you don’t suddenly start thinking of my really nice dad and how I’m the daughter of a really nice guy and lose your hard-on as a consequence. Maybe next life, I’ll be the daughter of some real scary asshole of a guy, so he’ll make a dare out of fucking me.
I’m terrified of aging and losing my sex drive or sex appeal – either or – to age. Luckily, my relatively new gym routine and diet have alleviated that fear; apart from that deep line on my forehead that I cover with a youthful bang – I can still turn even younger men’s heads. Maybe by the time I get proper old, they’ll have some age-reversal trick to sell… That’ll be entirely too costly for me, the way things are going.
I know people love me. I fucking know that. I know people respect and appreciate me and hang onto my every word, some of them. But why can’t it just lead to hard-ons and great sex, that’s what I can’t really comprehend. How fucking hot do you have to be to have a guy fuck you properly without reservations? Is a good fuck reserved to COMPLETE fucking drug-laced slags that are barely conscious about who’s fucking them or that they are, in fact, getting fucked at the present moment? I am absolutely sure tho, that there are women who act that way ONLY to make sure they’ll get properly fucked unlike the rest of us.
YOU HAVE TO stop “respecting women” automatically by avoiding sex with them, god damned. Me, at least. You have to expand your view. At times, you’ll have to fuck me like I don’t matter, or learn to realize that your fuck is a reward, not a punishment, or respect me knowing I can take cock… Or… I don’t know, whatever gets you over the hurdle fucking damned it. Whatever mind trick you have to pull on yourself, fucken do it.
The more you love me the more you need to know great sex is the most important thing in life for me. NEVER FUCKING EVER come between me and a hard cock if you even care to pretend that you love me and know who I am and what I’m like. Damned it. You can’t do the fucking, ladies, realize your job is to stay the fuck out of my way to it, or directly facilitate it if you call yourself a friend.
I don’t want men to try to figure out what I like sexually and limit themselves to it, I want them to do what they like and then teach me how to expand to what they like… Except I won’t expand to liking women. I really don’t give a fuck about fucking women. BOOORING body parts they have for someone without a cock. I can give myself a finger job, thank you very much, and everything a woman can do, a man can do with the promise of a good fuck at the end of it. How bad do you have to be at masturbation that you have to have another woman do it for you I’m just wondering? Or is it about being suppressed – so another girl will give you a permission? Girls giving other girls the permission to cum as if it was an issue otherwise? Yeah I don’t know but I’m not interested. Never understood what that’s about and all, but… Yeah.
I’m 47. The only thing that keeps me going is the trust that what I’m stuck doing now in my life will turn into centuries of amazing sex in my future lifetimes. Romances, too, but never again romances that will get in the way of the sex. And I keep seeing Victorian style ball-gowns coming back, I don’t know why but I’m not complaining. I loved them. Love them. Love them. (You know what’s great about them, hoops excluded? You can lift all of those layers, and you don’t need to wear panties under it all…)
I just want prudes to leave us be. I don’t know what you all do with your day but don’t ruin ours with it. We try to stay out of your way, can’t you fucking return the favor? Nobody is dragging you from your bakery products to fucking unless you’re putting yourself in our way. Just stay away… Just stay the fuck away, and leave us to our… fucking…
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