I kinda love all polyandrous men without trying too hard. You know, the USUAL man type. The ones who get all the crap. They are my drug, right, but there are different levels of hot in that bunch, too. To quote Oglaf, “You can’t fuck all the hot guys unless you keep your standards really, really high.” My favorite kind are lazy (but genius), vain pleasure-seeking hedonists who worry about nothing much. They have fun where-ever they have the freedom to think. They may be broke, but they have this ability to see the silver line; “well, if we lose the house, we’ll use the last money to move to Bora Bora, and we’ll live on the beach and live on coconuts.” They worry about nothing. And that gives them the freedom to chase dreams and pleasures. First-world problems.
They are motivated only by more beauty, no power or control. They want everyone to just chill. What they want and need is more beauty of all kinds. More harmony. More personal freedom for everybody to be just as hedonistic in their own favorite way as they are. We don’t all enjoy the same things, and my men would never bother trying to push their favorite things on other people. They’d be too lazy. They don’t want to accommodate anyone who doesn’t get it, nor be accommodated to anything they don’t get.
My men get angry over nothing as much as they anger when someone threatens this lazy, hedonistic life they live. All they want is to be left in peace where they’re hurting nobody, and the only anger they understand in others is jealousy for not having the lap of luxury they have… So they’re sometimes inclined to get by with less, so others wouldn’t have so much to envy; coconuts still exist… But they won’t give up on good looks. The other anger they feel is when someone is getting in the way of their chill way of living, when they’re hurting nobody and asking nothing from nobody.
They like to take their time to go see a theater play. They’ll enjoy the process of going out; they’re the type who dresses for dinner. 
(Maybe not.) I love vain men; I absolutely love vain men who love their own mirror image, their own voice, and the impact they have on other people being that vain. But you’d make a mistake if you thought that vanity is synonymous with shallowness. They have too much time to spend to be shallow. They think, ponder, and create – when they feel like it. They have million-dollar ideas while lazying about and abandon them if the execution of them is too hard or not fun enough. But if I tell you I love vain, lazy hedonists, and you now feel like sinking into the couch, don’t worry – I want you to – it’s long overdue. I do love smart men who have created this world of luxury we live in, and I enjoy observing the process… But if you want to sink into the bed and not move for another two years because I understand it – I understand it.
The one thing men do to kill my love is to start working harder to be worthy of me. I don’t understand that. I’ve broken engagements and marriages because of it – even though I am not sure if I knew to express why exactly. The magic was gone. I don’t want a better house if it means you’ll be at work all the time… You know? I don’t need clothes, nor do you; we need a comfy bed that we lay in naked, a room, and a lock on the door… And a clock that could stop as time with my hedonistic pleasure lovers means nothing… If we want to do something, we do it together, on our own time, on our own terms.
Ah, there is a use for a calendar and a watch! I forgot.
When does the play start?
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