So this morning, I woke up to a dream in which a bunch of people, on top of the pack, a black couple (a man and a woman, the woman being the more vocal of the two) were declaring their love, and True Emotion Mirror -position to me… As in THEY were my True Emotion Mirrors. The premise of the dream was that since I wasn’t going to declare my TrEmoRs in public after their years of trying to make me, they’d do it in reverse and declare themselves to me.
However, I wasn’t impressed, as usual. My True Emotion Mirrors are perfect (for me), of course, but these wannabes are just getting on my nerves.
I don’t know how many times I’d told people that there is NO WOMAN, black or white, green, Hispanic or otherwise, who is my True Emotion Mirror. You’re a woman; you’re automatically NOT my True Emotion Mirror, and there’s really nothing you can do about it that I can help you with.
Now, what the term means is a MUTUAL, two-way romantic and sexual bond at the highest possible level of spiritual and romantic compatibility. No matter how much you feel for someone, there is that word MUTUAL in it; therefore, to say you’re my True Emotion Mirror, it is to say I love you as much as I love any of my other True Emotion Mirrors, if not more, considering narcissistic lesbian women seem to think the love between two women should naturally overtake any heterosexual bond that might exist between a man and a woman.
Narcissists fall in love with the spectacle of love, not with a person for anything but their willingness to play along.
Narcissistic? You ask. Narcissists don’t even FEEL love, you may argue.
They do. It’s just that they love the SPECTACLE of love, not you or any other person. They love the spectacle of it. They love how it makes them LOOK to other people, including, not limited to the object of their hopes and dreams. The closest thing to love they feel is loving you for the willingness to play the part of their lover in the child’s play pretend they call life.
They don’t care how you feel for them now; they believe they can change your mind about them by grand gestures and displays of love; the love bombing should fix it all, despite your sexual orientation. Their own sexual orientation is fluid; they go for whoever gives them the most attention. And when I say “sexual,” it is also very… Weird compared to what a normal person would call sexual attraction. To them, it means “someone who makes me feel ‘sexy’ as in… Admired.” (Or impressed as in scared, mind you.) None of these feelings have the slightest to do with sexual orientation or sexual attraction, not even if you’re into pain and BDSM or big ‘scary’ men.
So the narcissistic mind believes that love bombing, attention, will ALWAYS change your mind about how you feel about the person. While it is true that it will CHANGE YOUR MIND about how you feel, it doesn’t go as far as to make a normal person fall in love with a person they’re just not attracted to. They will LIKE THEM more maybe, and be less dismissive of them and what not, but they won’t fall in love, as in suddenly find a non-attractive person as attractive, EVEN IF they wanted to force themselves to feel that way… Because it would be convenient to fall for someone actually available.
So no. I don’t go for that. A lot of people have tried, especially in spirit.
Oh and by the way, “mutual love” doesn’t mean “mutual love bombing” or “mutual attention” to anybody but a narcissist. Love can exist in one-way mode without either party giving any attention to either one.
So what is a romantic gesture good for?
A romantic gesture is supposed to confirm that our feelings are mutual, NOT to change my mind on how I feel… Or someone else’s. That shit works only on narcissists, who get infatuated by the spectacle of the romantic gesture. Normal people simply CONFIRM their feelings for each other through a romantic gesture.
So to answer my TrEmoR’s question: this ban on a grand gesture only applies to… unnamed hopefuls who I haven’t even confessed in spirit that I love them or am in any way attracted to them.
Him: In ANY WAY. Like “not a lesbian”, right? Men can?
Men can. Men will have an effect, especially as a group… Even if you throw in a narcissist or two. The thing being..
Yes, even male narcissists. The thing is that I MAY love a male narcissist. That’s just a fact. However, there is no way in high hedies I’ll ever love a woman like that. I’m simply NOT INTO IT. It’s not a decision, it’s just the way it is. No woman has ever made me feel like I’ve… conquered something. Women bore me to death… In comparison to men, that is. They don’t excite me. Not that they’re stupid or their brain is unimpressive, it’s just that they’re… Just women. Biologically speaking there’s nothing interesting about a woman to me. Since there’s no biological interest, even at their very best they’re like… A nice compliment, but nothing to light up my life.
Anyway. Confirmation of mutual feelings. Therefore, I have to LOVE YOU or your TYPE already in order to feel excited about the love confession.
Him: OR YOUR TYPE? That gives me an idea. Link to the Pinterest board we told you to put together for this very purpose. YOUR TYPE.
Me: You got it. My type is NOT ‘rich’ although it may look that way. It’s crazy handsome, genius, and shamelessly sexual… and male. A bit romantic and quite preferably long-haired… Not an absolute the last one, but you know, had “always” had a thing for it. And I do prefer the long locks to be about sexuality rather than “beauty” if you know what I mean. While I do like the look of a lot of male Instagram models, I don’t give two shits about your beauty, I want raw (not exaggerated, either, just saying, no need to pretend to be “hotter” than you are) male sexuality… And those two things are not the same thing.
Aside of romantic gestures, how do you awaken love in a non-narcissist?
Sometimes it’s the smallest attitude adjustments. I cannot stand modest, nor modest-looking men. Fake humble I can take, but if I love him, there’s an undercurrent of vanity and self-love, pride. A sense of superiority, no matter how much he’s trying to ram it down. Some of “my” men have conquered it, and at least one has made an adjustment to my wishes, when I told him to stop simping to critics who didn’t think he should act like a rock star being a Finn and all. He is a genuine rock star and he has every right to act that way. He squared his shoulders and that was it. I fell on the spot. <3
Sometimes, it needs the introduction of the real you when you’ve kept yourself hidden from the view… And a LOT OF attractive people do this in self-protection KNOWING that if they do this, everyone and their dog will fall head over heels in love with them… Unwantedly. And no, it is not narcissistic to be aware of REALITY.
Group?
I am a polyandrist. (+MFM+) I don’t think it’s necessarily an attractive trait to men in general. Therefore, a love confession that shows he as in they love me FOR being polyandrist rather than DESPITE it… That said… There are men I’ll take “despite” from, too. 
Why is a small gesture more important to you?
It’s more genuine. More fragile. If someone is willing to splash their feelings all over the Internet so to speak, it’s unlikely those feelings are real. True feelings are… Precious. Private. Sacred. You don’t want to be ridiculed by a fuck ton of people, let alone the one you think the world of, when you confess your love to them. Therefore, a small, private gesture is more likely honest than a massive show-and-tell that is designed to impress and love bomb and has more to do with people’s ego than real feelings.
That’s not always the case, I mean, we’ve been talking in spirit for long enough to be somewhat certain of mutual feelings but an actual first love confession done with a huge display… It’s more than likely just crap.
Huge public gestures CAN be romantic, yes, but they can also be just a flex: “Look what I caught.” When you make your lover a show pony to impress someone else with, there’s something wrong with the image. Public gestures work when the message is: “OK, I’m spoken for, sorry everyone. Better luck next time.” When it shows you’re willing to send your reserves and back up plans packing because you KNOW you don’t need them anymore…
What about a big, flashy wedding?
As long as it’s not a surprise and we all know exactly why we’re doing it and who it is for and why. There’s a right way to do it for sure.
What about the… Plan with “the exposed vessel” in vailed speech?
Oh I heard/saw it and fully approve. Haha. Speaking of which. I’ve seen the photo, lol. I wonder if everyone pretends they haven’t seen it just to keep it floating the Internet. I think an extension to it would be fun.
Him
I think this is enough…?
