An open Tarot reading for a rocker who cannot quite close the bridge between his younger self and the current one.

Maybe this will help others, too.

So he’s in his 60’s, still doing his job, which is to entertain audiences and try to put on a show. Back in the day, he was sexy as holy hell, but now, he feels a bit… Worn out. Feels ridiculous on stage, trying to go through the motions of how he was in his teens and 20’s. A man who used to have an instinct, know exactly what to do, how to cute it, rough it, kill it. He had women swarming, and like it or not, rock n’ roll is about driving women wild. The musicianship is for men, but the swagger is for women… Too bad women these days don’t have the vagina to take it. XD They’ve been so scared by ill talk about men they’d rather have the thing cemented shut by the sounds of it but I digress.

Let’s start, shall we?

The trauma

Tarot says “focus on the pussy” not your own self. I kinda… Get where that’s going but I feel that was a stray comment. Young men can afford to do that, young, handsome men can do that, but older men can’t. They have to show a refinement that young men can’t copy. Refinement and rock n’ roll doesn’t really go together very easily, but still, it’s there. Experience. Their edge is experience. Having fucked everything with a pulse, he can carry the swagger – unless you got so hurt by love around your thirties that you stopped fucking… Which is pretty much where we’re at. Our guy got burned badly, and retreated to lick his wounds in private while still trying to maintain the rock show by the skin of his teeth.

In addition, I feel like someone really got to his feelings, calling him selfish, self-obsessed what not who cared of nobody but himself. I feel like this was UNFAIR too, told by someone whose idea of being thought of was very physical in the Dog Thinking way where as he is considerate in the Cat Thinking way. But Dog Thinkers can be brutal about the way they express things, as the underlying message is always “I love you and care for you, but you don’t seem to care or accept love and responsibility of those who you love” it’s usually meant as a positive message, “you matter” but us Cat Thinkers, when we say it and hear it, to us it means “you’re worthless.” Further, I don’t think he even understood he was supposed to love that person who attacked him, not someone he’d consider anything but a staff member. So if we’d chew our bosses’ head off in that situation, we’d TRULY feel this person deserves no respect, worthless, worthless, and blind to his worthlessness.

Where was she coming from?

The staff member had worked for him for years… (Was she one of the women who kept the band alive in the early days turned a manager of sorts?) (He doesn’t know, he can’t remember if she was or wasn’t, which would be Cat Thinker typical.) We BARELY notice physical help. We only remember those who give us sexual, romantic, intellectual, and artistic kicks. Those who get to our brain. Who make our brain buzz. Physical care, for us, we link to charity, parenting, and basically doing the right thing by another person – it counts for nothing whether we give it or take it. The way we feel is that if we have extra food, we’ll feed a few extra mouths without thinking if we like their company. That doesn’t mean a life-long commitment, or even a commitment lasting the day. Just because we shared a lunch, doesn’t mean we’ll share a dinner. Good luck to you, may the wind always be in your back and the Sun on your face and all that.

Now, if you’re a Dog Thinker, you count all the physical good you give and are given. Every meal goes into the counter. Every kind word definitely goes into the counter. They keep track of who has done what and what they’re owed. And when the oblivious Cat Thinker doesn’t pay mind to it, the Dog Thinker eventually realizes they’ve gotten taken advantage of and explodes. In the meanwhile, the Cat Thinker has thought they’re doing this because they like the environment, they want to hang out and heck they found a way to be involved without having the talent of rock… Or something. We don’t question why people do the things they do, to us the only reason why they could possibly do it is because they enjoy the deed itself, NOT that they expect a reward for it.

So I feel like he failed to reward someone by marrying her, because to him, she was a staff member… MAYBE because after he got dumped by this girl who burned him, she was there trying to remind him he could just marry her. He missed the cues, because, well, frankly, he would never think of her in those terms and would be shocked to know that’s what she was aiming at… So when she lashed out, he thought she was talking on his ex’s behalf… And that went through into him like nothing else…

So what was the ex’s reason?

Tarot suggests that when he got home to his girlfriend, he typically wanted to be silent for a while, like take some time to discharge and collect himself. To a Cat Thinker, being quiet and still after a lot of stimuli is super important – introvert stuff. Especially someone who has to be the center of the attention a lot, what he probably wanted was cuddles in silence. He’d go from coming home to expecting cuddles without a warm up… Which, to an extrovert is like fucking a stranger. So basically, he was constantly stepping on her toes, and she’s lashing back like he’d done something wrong, which he didn’t figure out why.

Introverts love their silent cuddles. We love to be close to people, but we don’t necessarily want to talk about it, let alone “how was your day” or the like. That comes after the cuddles, maybe. To an extrovert… They like their warm ups. They need to be worked to a situation where they can connect with another person emotionally and physically, where as to an introvert, the connection takes two seconds. Which is why extroverts and introverts make terrible couples. It is possible his ex was warming herself up in the same group of friends for years before they became an item (I don’t know) while he’d barely noticed her by that stage. But she’d need some warmup time every time they’ve been apart, a warm up, which to an introvert feels like distance. Pushing him away.

That would create tension and arguments, and the good old “What have I done wrong now?” and “Why are you pushing me away? Don’t you love me anymore?” (The reason why I stopped using extrovert and introvert -differentiation is just that… We associate introversion as being socially reclusive, but that’s not right at all. Introverts pick and choose the people who they want to be close to, and they do it in societal level. If they find their tribe, they’re exuberant, loud, talkative, flashy… They soak in the attention. They withdraw from company they don’t enjoy, not all and any company. I felt like I had to rewrite the theory. So usually, Cat Thinkers refer to introverts, but The Ex doesn’t think she’s one of them, but she considers herself an extrovert so I’m not asking questions. However her focus on money makes me suspect she is very much a Dog Thinker.)

They fought of money

To a Cat Thinker, having money means an opportunity to have fun. To a Dog Thinker, money means securing their future… Which to a Cat Thinker is like preparing their own noose. The entrapment. Financing their own trap and jail house. So this would have caused a conflict. And yes, Cat Thinker can see their perspective, then feel like a selfish idiot, but simultaneously HATE the idea of “building a future” beyond basic knowledge that the future won’t kill us.

Why am I digging into ancient history?

Cat Thinkers are perfectly capable of being in love with someone who has never given them anything. Dog Thinkers cannot. They move on, they find someone who is willing to keep them financially secure. A Cat Thinkers problem is that we are focused on the beauty of things, the potential, the romance, the what could have been. SOMETIMES we give people virtues (what we consider virtues) that the person doesn’t actually possess. We associate physical beauty with beauty of character… Unless we’re in the Tassie Tiger traumatized category.

Because a Cat Thinker can love a thing that never truly existed, they need to be shaken out of it by revealing what everything actually meant. A Cat Thinker WILL NOT stay in love with a Dog Thinker once he or she understands them. Once we see through it, we’re over them.

So he was involved with two Dog Thinkers. The latter appears in his videos in character, probably the way he saw her. Entirely different person that I see when I look at her real life photos – but in the video, I see her probably through his eyes. To me… She’s… An auntie. She’s got this old woman energy even though she looks like a stunner. Stale. Floor-scrubbing governess of an Christian orphanage. “I’ll have to do it myself to repent for my sins and to do it right” kinda energy. Not sexy at all, but the way he saw her… Hot as hell.

What’s the cure?

Axl needs to learn to see through people. Into their souls. And he’ll lose the awkward respect he’s found for other people’s opinions, without blindly attacking like he used to. He needs to find the sight. It’s not that he doesn’t care about other people, he does, but he won’t look at them properly. Once he does, he’ll realize “fuck them” and he’ll be back to his old self.

How to do that:

• From a distance, choose a target, any person at all. (Videos and photos are good, too, as you get to stare a bit more, but it might be easier in person.)
• Remove assumptions, don’t assume they’re a good person, bad person, smart because he or she is Asian, any stereotypical thinking to the curb.
• “Just look” into their spirit. Learn to tell what you are looking at. The less you know about a person the better, especially if you get to try and confirm it with them. “Excuse me, can I use you for an exercise my therapist gave me?” Then, you can experiment with this: You’ll realize that whenever you’re telling people the ACTUAL truth about them, you’re giving them a compliment. Everyone is their own idea of perfection, even if it didn’t fit your idea of perfection. You only need to describe what you see, and they’ll eagerly nod if you got it right.

Entering the stage

What I feel like he needs to feel like a toy again, something for people to play with. The idea is not necessarily to be sexy per se, the idea is to be interesting. That turns out to be one and the same thing more or less. So what’s interesting about him… First of all, he is him. A legend. People want to know what he’s like now, not really if he can still put on a show or not. What came of you? That can be turned into rock I’m sure, and yes, he’s also written songs much to the effect of studying his current feelings but not nearly as bravely and brutally as he used to do. He’s afraid of what he might uncover, that it’s over, nothing to salvage, that he is actually a fake and a fraud who never deserved his place or… Who knows what might come up.

He should go brutally digging. And, he should go exploring his sexual side, the demon, usually by his age, male sexuality starts to be very, very freaking interesting… A bit dark, a bit more… Spicy rather than just straight up “let’s do it.” He’s just done it a million times, he’s at the age of making it interesting. Complicated even. He should stop asking whether he’s still ENOUGH for some women, (the answer, by the old standard, the old way… No, not really. He’s lost it. BUUT) he should start asking what does HE NEED. Become needy. Demanding, not because he’s worth it, but simply because “fuck you that’s what I want.” People with demands are sexy. To everybody, then, he just needs to avoid Dog Thinking women (the hands-on ones), closet lesbians (the hard to get) like the plague. He should also acknowledge that he’s not just a pretty face, he never was. He is of keen mind, a brilliant writer, a thinker, even if people haven’t really noticed it. I BET people who know him best have stood at awe at his remarks and casual brilliance. He should appreciate his own thinking, his moral code, and study what he truly believes makes a good person.

Cure.

This is a good exercise for everyone, really. Write as long an essay as you want about the perfect person you’d love to be friends or lovers with. Someone who, to you, is ‘delicious.’ Describe their way of thinking, their morals, values, sexual likes and dislikes. What are their goals in life, what do they want?

When you’re done, scroll on for what it means.

 

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Typically, when we’re asked to write about a person who we’d like and love, we wind up describing ourselves (with some compatibility alterations). IF the description differs from who you feel you are, that describes the person you need to become again. Who you want to be tells more about you than who you currently are, make no mistakes. That is where you are headed at, this version is temporary and not important.

He needs to stop fearing people’s judgment.

He feels he’s… Fallen behind. Others have aged more gracefully than him. He just peaked at 28 or something. And yes, sure. BUT.

HE FUCKING LIVED. He took chances. He burst straight through into what others fear and he got burned (and educated on why others are more cautious.) He lived strong…. And then not so strong. He now knows what makes others so cowardly. It’s not that we haven’t been there, it’s that we’ve just crashed and burned earlier and reincarnated to tell the tale. (I think he’s been a bit of a player in his previous lifetimes, and he certainly has played that part in this one, but auch.) He also got burned by what he’d normally avoid by instinct (domesticity), but what his status attracted unlike in other lifetimes.

Nonetheless, the less he’s thinking the better he’s doing… Tony Robbins says: “If you go in your head you’re dead.” There the time for thinking, but then, there’s the time for absolutely NOT thinking and just living in the moment thinking nothing but the pussy you’re going to be playing with after the show. ;p

Also… I don’t think he feels quite as oppressed as he did back in your youth.

Mind you, oppressed, not suppressed. People were trying to tell him what he can and cannot say, do, wear, write, snort, drink, etc. Etc. Most of the energy comes from rebellion: “you just WATCH ME god damned it.”

When you’re one of the most respected veteran rock stars in the world, the oppression kinda gives away, and all of the sudden you’re free to do whatever you want, and mustering up the old energy to just run wild despite being told to sit the fuck down is a lot harder to do. “Do the rebellious thing!” “Be wild again,” ugh. Right. Now, doing whatever he felt like has turned into “dance monkey boy, dance.”

Tell you what, if you want the old energy, it’d probably be for the best to have someone tell you you should retire… Like serious people. “It’s not good for men of your age…” “Fuck you.” Maybe reading YouTube comments would kick a bit of life back into you, but spending a life angry is really not the best solution here.

Still.

Oh shit. Got it. Sex.

Cat Thinkers are motivated by sex and romance, either or or both. We all are. I think he was traumatized by Dog Thinkers who made him believe women were offended or abused by him. So now he doesn’t know what to do with himself because he can’t be dicking around like he used to, thinking he’s giving the girls a good time the same as him. That’s what Dog Thinkers do to our will to live, they make everything clinical and boring, when us Cat Thinkers, both men and women, just want to get the hell out of our pants and fucking.

He needs to trust that women want sex with him, and now that he’s a bit older and not quite so impressive anymore, the Tassie Tigers and Dog Thinkers are not going to be so drawn to him. That’s a positive. On the negative, he might be attracting women he’s not really attracted to, but you know, he, like all Cat Thinkers must get good at rejecting people. (Mind you that ugly Dog Thinkers think sex is not a looks thing. Ugly Cat Thinkers think it’s ALL about the looks. It isn’t, not even for us, but it is not NOT about the looks.)

He needs to get back to whatever makes him feel sexy and hot. No matter how “frowned upon” that would be. He should start dreaming about sexually willing women before the shows kinda like they were affirmations. He should fully be focused on getting his dick wet and really forgot the question of is it a realistic hope or not. It doesn’t matter. Just fantasize about sex with the fans… And if he connects with a certain woman, have her invited backstage for him and see what happens. He needs to rediscover his mojo for sure.

Orders: Shameless masturbation and sexual fantasies in combination, limiting to sexual fantasies during any given show… Hot sex after.

Rock stars are the ultimate fuck boys, and whoever tries to make them into house husbands should be shot.