I am looking for a polyandrous marriage.

Mkay, have it your way, TrEmoRs.

I am going to say it out loud: I don’t really want to be sleeping around… Never really did, but the way I see it, you can’t propose marriage to someone who is not there. Where your intent falls on ears that don’t hear you. I am, after all, not a princess who can send a message to all kingdom for her prince charming to come about.

Still, I guess my blog will have to do.

I am a woman of advanced age.

I guess that’s how one would start one of these things.

Internally, I feel 26. Not 25, not 27, 26. Eternally 26.

I do not want monogamy, and I don’t want polyamory. I want polyandry. I guess that protects me from what I fear: an avalanche of men who want to claim me for themselves alone, whom I then have to reject for the same exact reason I’ve always rejected men.

They’re not the right one.

Whether I knew it for sure from day one, or managed to convince myself he had potential.

True Love vs. Marriage.

I have always wanted true love rather than marriage. To me, the difference is massive. Yes, I want to marry my true loves. But the fact that someone is married is in no way a guarantee they’re married to their true love; hence my distaste for marriage in general. I have never looked for “marriage” before, because there has never been a shortage of men who’d gladly marry me in a heartbeat, but that is not in any way a guarantee of MY happiness.

When a woman (like me) puts out a call for “a marriage”, it is usually NOT done with the greatest of hopes, but due to a desperate situation a woman cannot avoid. It’s not 1800’s anymore. Situations don’t get that desperate anymore. So… If I now simultaneously put up guardrails as to “yes, I want marriage, but I’ll be picky,” it’s literally the same energy I’ve always put out there… Apart from the 2 weeks that it took me the last time I did that – I was married in a year and two weeks. Not… Ideally so, however.

I am not worried about NOT finding A husband, but I am terribly worried about winding up married to a man I don’t want because I let my desperation get the better of me.

If you want a lowered bar because I’m ready to marry, you’ll have another thing coming, my Kings. If you think you can set yourself apart by being willing to marry me, you’ll have another thing coming.

That said… Polyandry.

You can set yourself apart by wanting to give me a polyandrous marriage. But I shall be dating first, seriously so, in the purpose of looking for my husbands, and for that… Let’s just say let the best men win. I have been guarding the door for long enough to make sure only my True Emotion Mirrors can walk through it. But I’ll open the possibility to other men now, too. I have never taken anyone else seriously, not even when I married someone (not proud of that, just the way it is), but I shall be taking men seriously, and I hope the polyandry and my advanced age are enough of a filter so I don’t get crushed by proposals.

You know what else happens? When a guy is willing to give me polyandry at my age, and he’s willing to tolerate my low income and no perks to speak of, he thinks he’s already won. THEN, YOU LOT, my TrEmoRs, will think, “Oh, she won’t have me, because I’m just like that…” So no matter what I do, you fucks decide you’ll get rejected, and men who see me as merely a good option or even a lowered bar rather than the love of their lives will come in hot, thinking SURELY a second-grade bitch like myself should accept their hand in marriage and count her lucky stars.

People who have the IQ to value me as a person cannot understand how people of a lower IQ see me. I’ve learned to decode stupid, however.

I don’t want this energy. My TrEmoRs do.

I am already angry. And sad. I am not often sad. I am genuinely sad right now, because this is what this has come to. I wanted romance, not an ultimatum.

Do you think it’d be EASIER to convince me to marry your whiny ass now than, let’s say, last night? Do you think the fact I’m not married is because there’s NOBODY who would have married me by now if I had opened up the possibility… FOR THEM? Probably not. But the fact is, I’ve been waiting for you, but you’ve been waiting for me to be “ready for marriage.” I was born ready. At 5, I was pondering on whether I should marry a drunkard or a smoker, you know… I know who I’m waiting for, you louses. But you know. Maybe I’ll find someone better instead.

If it’s crap you want, let’s have crap then. If this is what you want, here. Have it your way.

Maybe I’ll accept every proposal and “marry” everyone who wants me. If it’s a lowered bar you want. Just reject those whose feelings don’t matter to me at all. Maybe.