The First Time

By the book, done right
He was patient and in love
The right age, height, and built.

I wanted it perfect,
No regrets.
It was too important to mess with.

I listened to you, an outsider.
True Love Waits.

And waits…

And waits…

I would have known better.
I was ready at 13.

I was ready with the 30-year old.
Barely 18.
Instinctive. True. Hot. Right.
But he didn’t tick the boxes.
I said no when I should have said

Oh Fuck Me Harder Jesus!

True Love Is Bad At Maths.
I listened.
I regretted.
I stopped listening.

18 right for 19.
Too old to speak about it.
Too jaded to feel giddy.
Too old to get emotional, soft, or tiery.

But it was finally by the book.
All your boxes ticked.
I would have known better.

The height of love walks on a high rope.
Reliant on instinct, spirit, knowing.
One lie from the book,
An uttered untruth,
“I want you to wait.”

True Love Ran.

Boxed got ticked.