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Love men, hate men

Recently something odd caught my eye on my Facebook feed. Women who shared quotations of the motivational kind were, obviously without realizing it, spreading material that was sexist against men. Without thinking twice in their attempt to uplift fellow females, they cast a terrible light on men, and even worse on themselves.

An occasional joke is okay, isn’t it? I laugh at jokes about men and women all the time. Even the blatantly angry updates don’t bother me too much: She probably just got dumped and she’ll get over it. But the ones that really trouble me are the ones that outwardly sane, tame women repost in their bid to spread the love with their sisters. Let me give you a few examples of these flower-decorated hate-pieces.

“A woman brought you into the world so you have no right to disrespect one.”

Here is what I think of this… Yes, a woman brought you into the world, that is right, but why does that give every female on the planet an indisputable right to respect ? Don’t we all deserve the right to a level of respect, despite of our reproductive status or abilities, or which end of the deal we would draw if we were to reproduce? In addition, you can feel the anger behind this message, beautifully decorated with butterflies. Further, does the fact that men don’t give birth us the right to disrespect them, because that’s what’s happening all the time?

“If a man expects his woman to be an angel in his life then he should first create a heaven for her.”

First of all I have yet to meet a man who would have complained about my lack of angelic traits – and I do lack each one of them. Secondly, why don’t we reverse this? If a woman expects to live in heaven, she should first become an angel for her man. But that’s not how women see this deal, most of the time.

“Behind every successful woman is herself!”

While men thrive to give credit of their success to their significant others, even when they don’t exactly deserve it, women are quick to remind each other that they did everything on their own. This is supposed to inspire self-respect, but so many times this self respect comes from the back of a man.

“Women are like fruits. Everyone has its unique color, shape, aroma and taste. The problem is with men. They love fruit salad.”

Firstly I object to the idea that all men are the same. Every time a man tries to stereotype a woman, there’s going to be a roar about it, but why is it acceptable for a woman to paint all men with the same colour, shape, aroma and taste? But here is the message again. Men are the problem. THEY need to change in order for women to find happiness.

“What if I told you – Girls are not machines that you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.”

I nearly puked when I read this one. How is it acceptable to spread an idea that a man who shows kindness is doing this solely for sex? And why does it sound like such a horrible thing to want, anyway?

“Every woman needs a man who lets her be perfectly herself. No woman likes to be twisted and molded into another image. She wants to be loved for what she is with all her flaws and imperfections. – Aarti Khurana”

I cannot understand why it is that women seem to have completely free hands to mould their men into what ever they want them to be without any objections from anyone, at the same time as they demand to be allowed to be as imperfect as they want themselves. Women don’t seem to be able to take criticism but see no issue in offering a truck load of it to their boyfriends.

“Every woman deserves to have a man who is proudly willing to say to the whole world, ‘Yeah, that’s my one & only. She is beautiful and she is mine.’”

This one, to me is the worst of them all. Every woman deserves..? Seriously? Every single one? There is not one woman on the planet who would deserve to be well… Dateless? I could point out quite a few married women that I wouldn’t touch with a six foot pole if I was a guy… Okay so, let’s quit being a bitch for a moment and let’s say every woman deserves this, because, well, it would be nice. But how about men? If all women deserve all this, don’t men deserve the same?

 

I myself reached 30 before I realized the undercurrent of man-bashing messages in the society. I bought into it just like every other woman I know – to some level at least. I did not understand that a man would want the same kind of love and closeness as a woman wants, and that being the basis of all relationships – it’s not good for your own self-esteem or sense of security. Ironically, by spreading beliefs like this, women are hurting themselves just as much as they’re hurting men. Women really should not be as insecure with men as we are… They do kinda like us. Trust me.

3 Responses to “Love men, hate men”

  1. Awesome point, Sebastyn! I totally appreciate the idea of women standing up to sexism – but there IS such a thing as sexism against men. Aside from the quotes you mentioned, do people consider men and their feelings? They’re trained to be tough, macho, and hide any “wimpy” feelings. They’re forced by societal expectations to hold back sadness and so many other emotions – how does that affect them, experiencing only a limited range of emotions?

    This is kiiind of off topic from what you were saying, but it just made me think of that. Sexism goes both ways, and quotes like those aren’t helping. EVERY woman isn’t a good person – why demand that we ALL be treated like queens? Generalizations are rarely useful.

    Great post! Thanks for making me think. :)

  2. That is true, your point is closely related to this – it is in the very core of this idea. Not only are they expected hide a range of emotions, they are not expected to FEEL them to start with. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t sort of situation, if you don’t feel them you’re an asshole, if you do feel them you’re a wimp. No wonder there are so many men who don’t know which way to turn to be the correct kind.

    Thank you for the comment!

  3. I have noticed man-bashing for some time now. For the longest time it didn’t bother me, but then I started noticing it in family comic strips in the newspaper and I just thought enough is enough. I have to wonder how kids feel when they watch tv shows and all the men are portrayed as being not quite up to speed.

    Don’t get me wrong, men are pigs. Lying, cheating, whoring, stealing, drinking, drugging, disgusting pigs. But they are also the salt of the earth. They travel to all of their kids ball games. They take out the trash, do the laundry, and mop the kitchen floor when they sense their wives are feeling down. They help you bury your dog.
    Some guys are assholes, some guys are pretty great, and some are just guys. And sometimes it’s the same guy.

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